i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
