Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
