i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
