Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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