I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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