if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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