Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
