His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
