Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
