They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
