4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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