i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
