He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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