the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize