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We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
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