Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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