Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
