Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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