he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
