Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
