His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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