so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
