wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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