forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
