i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
