Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
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