I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
