Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
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He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
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I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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