I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
