she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
His nipple licking is glorious
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