spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
