the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
