I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
