Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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