Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
