I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
