it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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