i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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