there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
