We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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