If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
