dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
