Whatcha textin bout Willis?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
