it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
