I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
