why didn't you poke me back
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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