I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize