Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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