I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Randomize
