Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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