Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
