Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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