Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
