You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
