Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
