It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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