4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize
