My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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