Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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