I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
